david (beatngu) wrote,


moral awards

funny, "filmmaker" Michael Class can't be found on IMDB...

well i would have said, when it comes to filmmaking, a listing on IMDB isn't required for credibility; until i did a little research on michael class' independent studio: magic picture frame studio.

here's what i found:

Michael S. Class is an author and photographer. He lives in the present, but he is traveling into the future. When he was a child, Michael S. Class had the ability to slow down - and even stop - time.

right off the bat, we are told that our old pal mike is insane. we all know that at this point in time, there are no possibilities of time travel, and we won't be seeing it happening anytime in the near future. class wasn't just a child with a severely overreactive imagination, he actually believes he is the one to thank for long summer days, said bullshit follows:

He especially liked to stop time on warm summer days, while lying on his back on a grassy hill and looking up at wisps of white clouds passing high overhead in the bright blue sky. He could make the day stretch itself out for what seemed like forever. If you are old enough, you may remember some summer days from your childhood that seemed to last forever. You can thank Michael S. Class for those.

thank michael class for the elongated summer day? nay, we have the position of the sun in relation to the celestial equator to thank for that.

now that we've established you as a child with dangerous hallucinations and an adult with visions of grandeur, let's see what else you've done...

Author and photographer Michael S. Class has used digital composite photography to place his twelve year-old son, Anthony, in the cockpit of the Spirit of St. Louis with Charles Lindbergh, on the moon with Neil Armstrong, and on Normandy beach on D-Day.

ok, i see how it is, first you take credit for long summer summer days, which i let slide since you are a psychopath, but this is crossing the line. you've taken historic works of art, all copyrighted photographs, and super-imposed your 12 year old son on top of them, possibly ruining the images in their entirety with your son's smiling face. i have no problem with family photos, but this makes me sick.

Father and son labored for nearly four years in their garage filled with props from an army surplus store; the garage walls were covered with blue bed sheets. It looks like Anthony really did meet Thomas Edison, Jonas Salk, FDR, Lou Gehrig, Charles Lindbergh, and Audie Murphy.

oh, now you are a child laborer? you already have a distorted view on life and you are brainwashing your pre-teen by photographing him in front of blue sheets. what if later on in life anthony suffers from a case of amnesia? he will go through those old shoeboxes to find photos of him testing light bulbs with edison or batting with lou gehrig, possibly even assisting a nazi sympathizer, charles lindbergh with flushing his own baby down the toilet. either that or he'll find pictures of him smiling in front of endless blue. no matter what he finds his memory is fucked. supreme parenting mr. class.

anthony and the magic picture frame, the 225 pages of lies which not only contains 82 ALTERED historical photographs it also features 261 "real hero quotes" because mr. unoriginal wasn't clever enough to come up with his own words for the book.

michael isn't all that bad, for within his book he includes a list of recommended books, movies, songs, and even places to visit! in fact, there are 461 books, 595 movies, 217 songs, and 155 places to visit. THAT'S A LOT! THX MIKEY! Michael S. Class even listed Anthony and the Magic Picture Frame as a recommended book! WHOA! i've just read this GREAT BOOK, and the author plugs it in the end! i'll go buy another copy!

but fellow livejournal users, i digress.

the real point i am trying to bring up is the close-minded American Values Awards that Michael has started after being unhappy by the success of "morally confused" films like Brokeback Mountain, Munich, Syriana, Transamerica, Good Night, And Good Luck, and Capote. this list of movies is also known as "the only films of 2005 that weren't bad." the winners of the 2005 American Values Awards are listen below, with a description of why they were chosen:

1. Cinderella Man, the story of a man who remains committed to his wife and children during the Great Depression; the story of a man who triumphs over adversity; the story of an American hero.

2. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, a fantastical morality play borrowing heavily from the New Testament of the Holy Bible; a story of redemption; a story of good versus evil.

3. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith, the story of a man's fall from grace and hope for his redemption; a story of the battle between good and evil.

4. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, a story of loyalty, friendship, and the forces of good prevailing over the forces of evil.

5. The Great Raid, a true story of American heroism during World War II in the Pacific.

6. End of the Spear, a true story of spiritual growth, redemption, and serving God.

7. The Greatest Game Ever Played, a story of generosity, determination, and good sportsmanship.

8. Millions, an off-beat story about looking beyond one's self and doing the right thing.

serving god, good versus evil, doing the right thing. yeah we get it mike, thanks a lot.

  • pp

    pillow talk.

  • lulz

  • welcome back dave.

    1. i’ll respond with something random about you 2. i’ll challenge you to try something 3. i’ll pick a color that i associate with you 4. i’ll tell…

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